Changes in life can bring a lot of stress. They also can be a time of reflection. Our family is undergoing changes which are bringing a bit of both.
My husband took a new job in a new state and that has left me and three kids to sell a house and prepare to move over 2,000 miles away. That can be stressful. We've lived in our current home and area only 18 months; pretty short on the home-owner scale. During those 18 months we've had a love/hate relationship with the home and area. We didn't want to leave our previous home of nine years, the home we have been living in was configured so differently, it took months to adjust. It took longer than we would have liked to make friends and build relationships here.
Have I mentioned that change does not come easily to me? When I felt that this move was going to happen, my first instinct was to reject it and "brace for impact." I talked to a dear friend who told me that I could choose to embrace change. If the change is going to happen, then I can choose how I respond to it.
Some people don't like to listen to music when they run. They say they like the time to think and have their head clear. Me? I do my deeper thinking and pondering when I'm listening to good music. The words pouring directly into my head seem to have more meaning. A song I can sing the words to, without thinking, suddenly takes on a new message when I am concentrating on those words and the story behind it. Usually during a run I do not listen to music or anything. However, when I'm going to be gone longer than an hour, the earbuds go in and the music goes on. My music of choice is a mixture of 80's, country and Christian. Ecclectic!
On this particular run I was thinking about the upcoming move and reflecting on the experiences we've had here. We had lived here about a year when my husband and I felt that change was in the air and it was time to look for a new job move closer to family. It wasn't long after that decision was made that I started to really fall in love with where I live; the house, the neighborhood, the people, everything. About 45 minutes into the run, I hear the words, "It must have been love. But it's all over now." Tears. "It must have been good, but I lost it somehow." Sobbing. I wondered if I had wasted 12 months of living here by not loving it sooner. Then I realized that I had grown to love something and I know we are always better off for loving...even if it takes longer than expected.
Two songs later, Garth Brooks begins crooning to me. "I'll never reach my destination, if I never try..." "Don't you sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied but choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide...There's bound to be rough waters and I know I'll take some falls. With the good Lord as my captain I can make it through them all." Now I was REALLY crying. I thought about how my husband and I really have embraced this move. We chose what job we wanted, we chose where we wanted to move to. We were dreamers!
The final 10 minutes of my run I stopped the music and took out the ear buds. I listened to the birds singing. I noticed the leaves starting to bud on the trees and I avoided puddles left from the recent rain. I reflected on how much I have loved where I live, and how grateful I was to have spent 75 minutes saying "goodbye" to this neighborhood and part of the country that has been my home.
Running was therapy for me on this day, and running with music was inspirational and healing to my soul. I learned this on accident, because I listened to music on purpose.
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