Don't "should" on yourself

I don't feel much like writing today.  No particular reason; the house is quiet, I have had several hours to myself to mostly think. I believe that is where the problem is coming from. I am beginning to feel like I am wasting time, yet there are things that I "should" be doing--
making my bed
fixing dinner for my boys
looking at homes to buy in our new state
reading scriptures
cleaning my bathroom
washing the dishes
writing to my daughter
planning an imaginary trip to the beach

I find writing to be therapeutic.  It helps me to put things into perspective.  All of this "should be" reminds me of a conversation that I had with a friend therapist a few months ago. She works with adults working through Aspergers and/or other social disabilities.  She told me that she often tells them "don't should on yourself." (and, yes...it sounds an awful lot like another bad word) When we tell ourselves that we "should" do something, that thing then becomes a burden. When we pile up a whole bunch of those "shoulds" we end up with a big case of overwhelm and feeling less than we ought.
Instead, my friend, counsels these fine young adults to make a list of what they COULD do. Then they see how many choices they have. That, my friends, is power in action. Power to choose, to be free, to become!

So today, I had lots of possibilities of ways to spend my time. (see my list above.) Instead of any of those, I chose to watch a youtube video, play scramble with friends, read a magazine article and listen to music. Also, I went on a 5 mile run earlier in the day, and that felt really amazing!

I prefer to turn my "shoulds" into "coulds." It helps me to see how much control I really do have over my life. 

So, write a list of things you COULD do today. Then, don't "should" on yourself. Take ownership of every choice you make and see if your day is a little more happy and joyful.  Because you made the choice!

I learned this on accident, because I wrote this blog post on purpose!  : )