Put the SOCIAL back into social network

Today's happy accident is brought to you by...my birthday; And social media. Social networks these days are a funny mix of political posts and food videos.  Maybe they should be renamed "opinion networks."

First, I want to share some definitions that I found for the word "social":
relating to, devoted to, or characterized by friendly companionship or relations:
seeking or enjoying the companionship of others; friendly; sociable;
living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than  in isolation:
The last one I really like. People need other people! While many of us feel anti-social at times, we really do need other people to be part of our lives, to at least a small degree.

I had a birthday last week. I'm not ashamed to tell you that I celebrated the completion of my 46th trip around the sun. (sounds kind of impressive, right?) I also share a birthday with my youngest child, a boy. He turned 12.This child of mine does not yet belong to any "opinion networks". He has an email account. He's 12. He doesn't even NEED email but it keeps him in touch with some long distance friends.  Which brings me to my point.  Social networks are supposed to be social!

Because of my said birthday, I was the recipient of many thoughtful birthday wishes. Now, some people don't like to post their birthday on social media, and they don't like receiving the "obligatory" "Happy Birthday" from people that maybe wouldn't ordinarily go out of their way to give a birthday wish. I am not one of those people.  While I don't always give a birthday shout out to someone when I am "reminded", I loved reading the posts from friends who took time out of their day to type out a little birthday wish to me.  It might seem like no big deal, but they really did think about me! They saw that it was my birthday, made a choice to click on my name, continued with that choice and wrote "Happy Birthday, Gina!" or some other variation on that theme.  And it really means a lot! Really. I wanted to reply to each one, so I took some time to do that.  And I wanted each reply to be special too--not a cut and paste job.  And here is when the magic happened.  As I replied, my friends started to reply back. And we were, get this, social! We exchanged niceties and I felt connected to them. Some of these people I have not seen for well over 15 years. It took me a couple of hours to get all of the replies done, but as a new comment would come in I would smile and enjoy a few more minutes with that person. Over the years, social media has been hijacked into political messages, political correctness, business promoting and cat videos. I believe that social media has a great power to bring people together and even to keep them connected, if that power is used for that purpose. Something I learned on accident, because I chose to be social on purpose.

I invite you to take a few minutes today and be social on your social media. Interact with someone. Write them a hello, or wish someone a happy birthday.  It'll bring a smile to you and your network.

Me and the birthday boy trying this selfie thing. 

It's the response that counts

What kind of trials do you experience? Maybe it's an unhealthy habit that plagues you. Perhaps someone you know is dealing with an addiction and it's poisoning your relationship. Maybe it's unemployment or underemployment.  You might be dealing with chronically ill children or aging parents.  Maybe a loved one has hurt you deeply, or you are having a faith crisis, or you are moving  Maybe you face depression.  Maybe it's a trial of how to get your business going, and keep it going.  Maybe your hard trial for today is getting the laundry and dishes done, or making sure that all of the people that live in your house are fed, clothed and safely back in bed at the end of the day.

Whatever we face, whatever our challenge is, it's not really the challenge, or "the trial" that's the issue.  IT'S HOW WE RESPOND to the trial.  Do we meet each hurdle and obstacle with frustration, anger and resentment? Or, do we embrace it as an opportunity to learn, grow and an acknowledgement that we have been entrusted with the responsibility to see ourselves through to the other side of this hurdle?

Getting through these trial usually requires some sort of plan, right? How will I get that laundry done? When will I make dinner? How can I show my loved one that I care for them? How can I loose excess weight or tone and strengthen muscles?

If we respond to these trials with the attitude that we are stronger than we think, and that we can overcome; if we stay on "THE PLAN", there will come a day that we become what we are striving to become, and accomplish.  We are meant to have JOY in our lives.  There is a scripture I love that says "If thou art sorrowful, call on the Lord thy God...that your soul may be joyful." Focusing on joy brings peace into our lives. Focus on Joy.  It's the response that counts!

I learned this on accident, because I want to be joyful on purpose!

No Less Seviceable

Do you find yourself comparing your actions to those of others? Do you feel that your day to day, run of the mill tasks just don't measure up to those of Fred and Sally that live on the other side of the fence? (Or the other side of social media?)

During a church lesson recently I learned that even my daily events like dishes, cleaning, teaching my children right and wrong and supporting my husband do not make me any less serviceable than the actions of those people that, on a daily basis, enforce laws, help the sick, or make million dollar deals.  Our tasks are different.  Our responsibilities in this world are not comparable, but the effect we can have on the world is the same...positive.

A wise man once said, "Not all of us are going to be...catching the acclaim of our colleagues all day every day.  Most of us will be quiet, relatively unknown folks who come and go and do our work without fanfare.  To those of you who may find that (thought) lonely or frightening or just spectacular, I say, you are "no less serviceable" than the most spectacular of your associates.  You, too, are part of God's army." --Howard W. Hunter


No less serviceable.  Something I learned on accident, because I went to church on purpose.

Don't "should" on yourself

I don't feel much like writing today.  No particular reason; the house is quiet, I have had several hours to myself to mostly think. I believe that is where the problem is coming from. I am beginning to feel like I am wasting time, yet there are things that I "should" be doing--
making my bed
fixing dinner for my boys
looking at homes to buy in our new state
reading scriptures
cleaning my bathroom
washing the dishes
writing to my daughter
planning an imaginary trip to the beach

I find writing to be therapeutic.  It helps me to put things into perspective.  All of this "should be" reminds me of a conversation that I had with a friend therapist a few months ago. She works with adults working through Aspergers and/or other social disabilities.  She told me that she often tells them "don't should on yourself." (and, yes...it sounds an awful lot like another bad word) When we tell ourselves that we "should" do something, that thing then becomes a burden. When we pile up a whole bunch of those "shoulds" we end up with a big case of overwhelm and feeling less than we ought.
Instead, my friend, counsels these fine young adults to make a list of what they COULD do. Then they see how many choices they have. That, my friends, is power in action. Power to choose, to be free, to become!

So today, I had lots of possibilities of ways to spend my time. (see my list above.) Instead of any of those, I chose to watch a youtube video, play scramble with friends, read a magazine article and listen to music. Also, I went on a 5 mile run earlier in the day, and that felt really amazing!

I prefer to turn my "shoulds" into "coulds." It helps me to see how much control I really do have over my life. 

So, write a list of things you COULD do today. Then, don't "should" on yourself. Take ownership of every choice you make and see if your day is a little more happy and joyful.  Because you made the choice!

I learned this on accident, because I wrote this blog post on purpose!  : )