Mental toughness, baby!

What is the hardest thing you have ever done? I could list so may things that I have NOT gone through; cancer, death of a loved one, abuse of any kind. 
I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt and friend. As I fulfill these many roles, I often feel bogged down by all of the things I have to do, don't have time for, and never get done. After awhile, all of these demands begin to cause me to feel weak; that I cannot accomplish much, that I must be a failure. 
These, of course, are lies. However it took running generally, and half marathon training specifically, to help me realize that I am stronger than I thought. 
I have never considered myself an athlete. Running? I NEVER considered myself a runner. But I was persistent, consistent, and followed the plan. Half marathon training is challenging. The workouts range from 3 miles, to upwards of 12 or 13, depending on the plan. I would look at the long run for the coming week and think, "Seven miles?! How am I going to run seven miles?"  Then the next week.  "NINE?!?" This went on for over 12 weeks. Each week, I finished the assigned run. Some took longer than others. Each time I ran a new "longest distance ever," I felt wiped out for the rest of the day. Physically exhausted. After awhile, the long run was eleven miles, and a weekday run was six.  Suddenly, six miles seemed like no big deal. "Six miles? I can do that, no problem. "
All of these runs were changing me mentally and emotionally. I was realizing that things that used to be perceived has hard were becoming way more manageable. 
The end of my training cycle, I ran 13.1 miles on a beautiful spring day in May; Mothers Day weekend. I finished with my husband and kids around me. And I realized...I'm stronger than I thought  was. 
All of the little day to day tasks that used to get me down were now insignificant in the light that I had just run, and finished, a Half Marathon! It didn't matter how fast or how slow I was. I finished the distance, something that I thought just two years before, would be unheard of for me; if not impossible. 
I am mentally tougher than I thought. 
A lesson that I learned on accident, because I am a runner on purpose. 

Goal vs. intention

Are you a goal setter? You know, one of those people who make New Years resolutions, maybe not with the intention to break it, but with big, big plans to do huge, amazing things. "I'm going to loose 25 pounds before Valentine's Day!" " I'm going to send birthday cards to all of my extended family." "I'm going to exercise six days a week ." 
--a year without sugar
--a year without carbs
--catching up on scrap booking
--organize those photos,
--plan the menus for the entire month. 

I am not one of these people. 
Goal setting; not really my thing. I think maybe I'm afraid of commitment. Or maybe I'm afraid of letting myself down, or someone else, or both!

Running opened me up to a whole new world of goal setting. It started with my desire to run a half marathon, which came from training for a 10K, which came from running a few 5Ks in order to get back not shape. 
I never had a "goal" to run a half marathon. Well, not much before I decided to run it. 
During training runs I would occasionally listen to a podcast. One specifically talked about goal setting. I almost didn't listen to it; two women talking about running and goals and how they are a good thing? Yea, right. 
Well, as they talked in my ears, they said how setting a goal is a good thing. It gives us something to work towards. The goal can be simple, "smile more today...run to the next mailbox...give someone a compliment". I also learned that adjusting the goal is totally acceptable. For example--
When
--Goal A is to run 5 miles. BUT, you didn't sleep much the night before and you feel really, really tired.
--Goal B is to run 3 miles because that's the usual minimum. However, legs feel like led and your head is swimming with all of the "have to's" waiting for you later.
--Goal C is to run to the next mailbox and then just go home because sleep didn't happen and nice mommy needs to exist.

Recently, I learned a new word in relation to goal setting: intention. Setting an intention seems much nicer to me. I intend to do many things, but I am less hard on myself when I do not fully accomplish what I set out to do. This does not mean that I accept failure or quitting, it simply means that I intend to do things, and they will get done.  Sort of a softer deadline or feeling. I like it.

Overall, I now know that setting a goal is good, achieving it is better. Adjusting the goal is totally acceptable.
--the goal can be something as simple as, "smile more today."

This, I learned on accident because I listened to a podcast on purpose.

I am stronger than I thought

I began running at the age of 40.  I felt inspired by two things. 1-A reality tv show about weight loss and 2-A friend of mine who is an avid runner.

In my faith, we practice something called “The Word of Wisdom.”  It is a health code that I agree to abide by: no tobacco, no alcohol use, no recreational drug use, plenty of fruits and veggies and grains, limited amounts of meat.  (I have no problem from abstaining from drugs and alcohol. Limiting meat is a problem sometimes.  :/  )  After giving birth to six children in 13 years my body was starting to feel the effects.  Tired all of the time, feeling heavy, low motivation, low-just-about-everything else.  But in watching the tv show—full of AVERAGE people that needed to lose weight, I began to feel like “If they can do it, I can do it.”  After all, they were A LOT heavier than I was.  So, I started to exercise.  30 minutes a day, three days a week.  THAT. WAS. IT.  I knew that I could work hard, but for a limited amount of time.  I gave myself 30 minutes and when that time was complete, I was DONE.  No, “just one more time” from me.

 I enjoyed keeping in touch with my long distance friend who was developing herself into a very talented endurance, long distance runner-- Marathons, baby!! Something clicked in my brain and I started to think, “If she can do that, so can I.”  Now, this is where I need to explain something.  My friend is about 5’4” and probably weighs 120 lbs. (If even) I am over 5’9” and, at the time, weighed over 190 lbs.  Running did not come naturally to me.  But, due to not wanting to pay for a gym membership, I decided to use what was available to me…the road outside my front door.  So I started “running.”  It probably didn’t look much like running then.  My part of the neighborhood looked a bit like a capital A, the bottom parts of the letter are culdesacs.  I lived on the street in the middle of the A.  So, when I crossed the street, I could run around the “block”, if you will, and come right back to my house.  My neighborhood was also hilly, so, in order to get the the “point” of the A, it is uphill slightly.  I would walk the uphills, and run the flat parts.  I would do that 4-6 times during a workout, 1-2 days a week.  (Did I even mention that my footwear at the time was a knock-off brand of “Crocs?”)

I kept up this cycle of following along with exercise videos (that I happily checked out from the library,) and “running,” for several months.  I began to notice changes in my body and changes in my attitude.  I decided that I could run a 5K (that’s 3.1 miles if you are not yet a runner.)  And, when you are not a runner, 3.1 miles seems like A REALLY LONG WAY TO RUN.  I practiced by running for 60 seconds, then walking for 90 seconds for a total of about 25 minutes.  (Remember, I was willing to work out for 30 minutes total.)  All of this training started in January and I quickly thought that I was ready to run my first “real” 5K.  I signed up for one of those races where they throw powdered color on you every 1K. Race day came and I was excited! By the end of the course, I was a very colorful mess and I felt very accomplished that I had covered the full distance.  After that initial 5K, I decided that I wanted to do another one, so I trained a bit harder.  Soon, I noticed that my workouts were lasting 40-50 minutes…and I liked it!

Training for 5K’s got me wondering…”could I do a 10K?”  (6.2 miles)  During the summer of 2013 I kept up with my running, covering about 3 miles each run, 2-3 days a week.  Then I found a program to help me with covering a longer distance.  During the training for the 10K, I started wondering if I could handle a half marathon. (13.1 miles)  It felt satisfying to train for longer distances and for each workout, whether it was a run or a DVD workout.  It felt rewarding to run farther and longer than I ever thought I could.  Each time I exercised I felt satisfied and energized.  I knew that I was doing hard things—physically and mentally—and I liked it!  One day I noticed ab muscles that I didn’t know I had.  Another day I noticed bicep muscles that actually had definition.  And one afternoon, I decided that it really was time for me to tackle the distance of a half marathon.  I loved knowing that I could do hard things. And I realized—I am stronger than I ever thought.  Stronger in my body because muscles were being toned and tightened.  I could run farther and longer and each new “longest ever distance” was amazing to me.  I was stronger in my mind as I realized that most of the difficulties of doing new things came from my own negative thoughts.  “It’s too hard!” … “I can’t run that far or that fast!”... “My body doesn’t look like that.”…  These negative thoughts can keep us from accomplishing amazing things.  Realize that you are stronger than all of that, and adopt this mantra that I picked up; “Don’t think, just go.” That’s it.  Don’t think too much about it…whatever it is.   You’ll talk yourself out of it.  Don’t think.   Just go! I'm stronger than I thought (and so are you). Something I learned on accident, because I exercised on purpose.

Introduction...

Twenty five years ago (in 1991) I chose to get married. A year after that, our first child was born.  Throughout the next 15 years we would have a total of six children; three girls and three boys (not in that order). One day, in October of 2004, I chose to video my two "babies" after I had discovered them "creating art" with peanut butter. I chose to send the video, via email, to my family and friends. Several  years later, I chose to put the video on FaceBook. Approximatly six years after that, what I didn't choose, was for that video to go viral. I didn't realize that thousands of people all over the world would see that video--And it makes them smile. I have learned so many lessons through this experience, as well as through other things completely unrelated to "Peanut Butter Baby." I've realized that those learning opportunities exist in nearly every thing we do. The purpose of this blog is to help you to see the "happy accidents" in your own life. I'll use stories of things that I have gone through and learned to illustrate how we learn things on accident, because of other things we do on purpose. It's a joyful journey, and I'm glad you are here.

Above Average

This blog has been in my brain for months.  It has been years in the making, but I didn't know it. I've never aspired to be a writer. I don't really try to make people laugh, but I like it when it happens.  Well, because I actually said something funny, not just because people are laughing AT me.  You get the idea.
I really consider myself a pretty average person. Let me explain:

Who am I?  I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend.  I am a runner, a scripture reader, a cookie baker, a cinnamon roll seller.  I grew up in a small town, went to college, met a boy, got married, had kids and, now what?  I have spent a lot of my life feeling like I am just very, well, average. I have noticed that there seems to be plenty available for those who are wealthy, and for those who are very poor.  Let me explain:  As a young married woman, I began a short career in a direct selling company.  I enjoyed that experience, but quickly realized that it wasn’t as easy as it seemed.  I went to a convention one year and felt very frustrated that those women in the company who were recognized as “directors” or “gem level” associates were given free hotel rooms, free catalogs, free business supplies, etc.  I remember talking to someone about this once and wondering why those things were not shared with some of us who really “needed” it.  

On a separate occasion, at Christmas time, I was watching the news and there was this story about children who were getting a “trip to the  North Pole.”  They were taken to a local airport, put on a plane, and I believe the plane drove from one terminal to another.  When the kids de-planed they were now in “The North Pole” and Santa and gifts were awaiting them.  My kids were young, and we were poor college students.  I remember thinking something like, “Why do the poor kids get such cool activities?”  I felt a bit jealous that such privileges were available to those who were wealthier, (they had worked very hard to achieve their status in the company), and that these kids were going to get a nicer Christmas than my own kids. (It was probably the only REALLY nice Christmas many of those children ever received, while my kids have had several wonderful Christmas/holiday experiences.) 

What I was experiencing then is the feeling of being average.  Just a stuck in the middle sort of feeling, where everything else is just out of reach.  I am not a psychologist, but I suppose some of this comes from the fact that I am a youngest child.  I benefited from having older parents who had more time and more money. I didn't struggle much for want of anything.  Now that I’m older, and so much wiser, I am grateful that I had these experiences.  I have realized that most of us are average.  Just every day people that go around doing our thing:  Dishes, laundry, planning/making dinner, grocery shopping, school, helping kids with homework, chores, taking them to practices, lessons, fulfilling responsibilities at church, on the PTA, HOA board, walking the dog, changing diapers, cleaning up messes, vacuuming, dusting, more laundry, playing with the kids, spending time with your spouse…and the list goes on.  But don’t you see?  This is what makes us ABOVE AVERAGE!  These are the things that make us the wonderful women, sisters, mothers, friends, etc., that we are.

In my earlier list of items that describe who I am, I failed to mention that I am a copy-cat.  Really.  Nothing that I have to say is completely original.  I learn from others, and I am pretty good at reproducing something when I see a great idea.  (Well, unless it is a sewing project.  Sewing and I are not friends.)  So if I don’t have anything “new” to offer you, why should you continue reading?  Because I am able to give you so many of the things that I have learned, and put them into one place.  Many of these thoughts and lessons have come to me as I have adopted running as a new hobby/sport/way of life.  Many more have come as I have lived my life, doing the many "mom" things that I do.
These are the things that I learn on accident, because I live my life on purpose.