Back to Basics

I've been using running as my main form of exercise for over six years now. For most of those six years I've run the majority of my miles all alone. I learned to like it that way. My "listening habits" have varied. Sometimes I listen to 80's music, sometimes it's show tunes. Other times it's a podcast. Much of the time I am simply listening to my breath and my own thoughts. During those first months of running, I learned to like listening to Christian pop music. Not for the tempo or beat, but for the uplifting lyrics. There's something therapeutic to me about positive, uplifting words pouring into my head while I am doing something that is hard but is building my mental and physical self.

Recently, after a couple of tough wife and mom days, I needed to take a break from my "new normal" of running with a partner. I headed out all by myself, headphones in my ears and no real plan of how far I would run or when I would return. It was during this run that I felt a connection to where it all began for me. On this particular day I ran alone, which I haven't done for weeks, and I listened to gospel pop music, which I haven't done in years. I felt humbled and connected back to my Heavenly Father as I ran outside and listened to words in my ears about being a daughter of God, and how I want Him to see me as beautiful. One song in particular, "Glorious", touched me to my very core. I've been floundering, for what feels like months, trying to find my place. I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a friend, but I've just felt like something has been missing and that I wasn't "doing it right." This song is a beautiful reminder that I can figure out my part if I keep trying and "listening". "Everyone plays a piece, and there are melodies in each one of us. It's glorious!"

I was so happy to learn this again, as I ran alone and with uplifting music, on purpose.

This is a view from my run. Who couldn't feel connected and peaceful with this?

Grateful List 2018

I've always been aware of being grateful, especially in our trials and suffering...that's harder, but still important.
The beginning of a new year often brings thoughts of creating new goals, resolutions, fresh starts, etc.
I've never been a huge goal setter, but I am a believer in setting intentions.
A few days ago I saw a video of a woman sharing the idea of writing down one thing, ONE THING, every day that you are grateful for. Being more specific than "a roof over my head", but really being grateful for something...even if the day has been "terrible and nothing good happened," there is still SOMETHING to be grateful for.
I've been thinking about this and am creating an intention to be grateful for one thing, every day in 2018. The biggest road block for me was where to write this list. I decided to do it here since this is a place I desire to be going more often anyway.

I realize that I will have to update this post every single day.
I realize that this post is for me, and not so much for you, the reader.
I hope that you may have a desire to be more grateful and that you can recognize the little things that come into your life and how they are meaningful to you.
I hope you, also, recognize blessings on accident, because you thought to be grateful on purpose,
because I'm sure that I will.

**Update: To prevent this single post from becoming F O R E V E R  L O N G, I've moved this post to a page; 
2018 Gratitude series. That is where the regular updates will appear.

Jan 1, 2018
--I am grateful for a husband who likes spending time with me, and WANTS to spend time with me. He isn't much of a talker, but likes to be with me. Even if we sit in silence, we are doing it together and that is enough.

Jan 2, 2018
--I am grateful for the ability to exercise...it helps me as much mentally as physically
--I am grateful that my daughter has brought home pizza from work twice in the past week. It has provided us with meals for lunch and dinners and has saved me from having to prepare dinner. And, it's delicious!
--I am grateful for hot chocolate! I almost always feel cold and sometimes when I cant stop shivering, a cup of hot chocolate warms me on the inside too.
--I am grateful for a husband who was willing to dance with me, even when he didn't really want to.
--I am grateful to be able to laugh with my husband. He's my favorite!

Jan 3, 2018
We woke up this morning to the news that our beloved prophet, and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Thomas S. Monson, passed away last  night. He was 90 years old. I've been thinking of him all day. I never met him, but I've still been impacted by him.
--I am grateful for this man who lived, led and loved with kindness, generosity and sincerity. I learned today that when he donated a white shirt to a thrift store, he first washed the shirt, pressed and folded it, and added a tie; out of respect for the person who would receive it.  I learned that when he used a public restroom, he always wiped down the counter and sink area with a paper towel, to show respect for the next person who would use it.
--I am grateful for the knowledge of who the next President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will be. You can read about that process here. We know how this process works and I'm grateful that it will be met with peace, and acceptance.

It's been awhile

I mentioned in a previous post that blogging is hard. My original intentions were to post weekly, and I was determined to not become "that page" that went unattended for weeks and months.  But, alas, life has happened and it's been over two months since I last wrote anything here.

Due to reasons that don't really matter to you, I have been spending some time rereading some of my previous posts.  And you know what I learned? I like what I wrote! I was able to reconnect with feelings and emotions. I was able to remember the events as they happened, and when I wrote about them. I reminded myself that I LIKE writing and blogging.  It's it's own sort of therapy for me and provides a type of documentation that I am not getting anywhere else.

When I was younger, before I married, I used to be quite good at writing in a journal, nearly every day. But when my "real life" started (getting married and having kids), my history/record keeping ceased. I may not need to log every moment of every day, but I love recording and then rereading the little blips of life that have helped me to evolve and develop into the woman that I am becoming.

I learned this on accident, because I reread my blog on purpose!

What do you do to record your personal and family history?

Choices are important

One spring morning, while on a run, I noticed a large caterpillar crossing the road.  I was running on the left side of the street, and it was crossing from right to left.  How brave of that caterpillar to have left the safety of his grass and leaves and flowers to trudge across the barren, hot wasteland of the black topped road.  It didn't get run over, or stepped on, and knew where it was heading. (I'm sure his instinct told him exactly where to go...and why)  I thought for a split second about picking him up and "helping' him finish this part of his journey.  Then flashed through my mind the images of stories I've heard how it is actually detrimental to the strength and survival of the creature trying to get where it needs to be, to "help them."  The simple act of me picking up the caterpillar and removing him from his course and then placing him on a new section of a path would have been disorienting to this creature, at best.

 I thought for a second, as I was trudging along, how I would feel if someone came and plucked me up, in mid stride, and placed me on another part of the road further ahead.  Would I feel helped? No! I would have felt gipped out of the effort that I was putting in.  I would have felt a little put out that someone thought they knew better than I about what I could handle.  Just because, to you, I may have looked like I was struggling to get my breath or fighting for every step, doesn't mean that I was not capable of getting myself down the road, thank-you very much!

Awhile later, nearing the end of my run, I saw a man mowing his lawn using a riding mower. "Wouldn't it be fun" I thought, "if I could jump on and ride a little ways with him on that mower?"  Not because I couldn't finish my run, I just thought a ride on that tractor seemed like fun.

I instantly flashed back to that caterpillar.  What was the difference between someone else picking me up and putting me on a different place on the road an me riding on the mower? Both would have relieved me of some effort. One was MY CHOICE.  The other, was not.

How important are the choices that we make?  Is my instinct telling me where to go...and why? Am I following that natural instinct or allowing others to direct my path and influence my choices? I will continue to ponder these questions for a long time.

I learned this on accident, because I thought about that caterpillar on purpose.

A little PSA

Today's post is truly from the heart, and without a lot of forethought. It's a lesson I learned on accident, not particularly happy, not one that I wanted, nor do I want to continue to have in my life; I'm afraid of dogs.  Specifically, dogs not on leashes, away from their homes.
A year ago, while running, I was on a very rural road.  While running IN THE STREET but in front of homes, three little, yappy dogs came toward me.  I ran. They chased me and one of them grabbed my left calf and bit me. It was a decent bite and while I was not punctured by the teeth, skin was broken and deep bruising occurred.  What I didn't expect was that this lingering fear would still be with me.  When a dog is out in their yard, they have every right to bark at me.  I will not enter your space, but that dog better not enter mine.  On several occasions since then I have been chased by loose dogs.  This sends my heart rate into levels so high, its like it's trying to reach to sun!
It's happend twice in my new neighborhood.  These chases were done by dogs, not on leashes, but with their owner.  I'm going to shout so you'll hear me. "YOU MAY THINK YOUR DOG WON'T BITE, BUT I DON'T!"
I don't want to be afraid of your dog.  I really don't.  We even had a "great dog experiment" and owned a dog for four years. However, it seems that, sometimes, dog owners/lovers care more about the freedom and happiness of their dog than the safety of others.  Most dogs are not biters. But from owning a very active black lab, I know that the great game of most dogs is to chase people. It is so fun for them! But, for an innocent person who is running for fitness, or a child riding their bike or walking/playing on the sidewalk, suddenly being chased by a dog is not fun at all.
So, consider this a little PSA: Keep your dog on a leash.  It'll save everyone a little heartache. Your dog won't run to chase me, "accidentally" bite me or someone else, and I won't call animal control on you.

By the way, I did call animal control on the dogs who bit me last year.  They were not up to date on their vaccinations and had to be quarantined for three days.  The dogs were also repeat offenders.  I will feel bad for you if your dog gets taken away, or if you have to pay hundreds of dollars in fines, but I will feel devastated if any HUMAN gets hurt because your dog was not restrained.

Maybe this will be something you can learn on purpose because I was bitten by a dog on accident.

Running into the wind

On a late winter day in February, I went for my morning run. It was a bit dreary; clouds everywhere and the wind was blowing.  I grew up in Utah and there we had an east wind that would blow so strongly. But it always came from the same direction...the east.  I've heard runners tell tales about having the wind at your back to sort of push you along and make your effort easier.  In the South it seems that when the wind blows, it comes from all directions.  So I may be running into the wind and then I turn a corner and I'm still running into the wind.  I may change directions again and, still, into the wind! Thanks, South!  Well, on this blustery day, I wanted to give up.  The wind was blowing any and every way it wanted and I was cold! However, I'm consistent in the fact that when I set out to complete a run, I give it my best.  Even if it's 45 minutes in the cold wind, I will finish!
I don't know exactly when, but maybe 35 minutes into the workout the wind finally took a break and the sun came out.  I felt my attitude change and I suddenly felt like I could run forever! I'm sure the actual air temperature didn't change much but my attitude and perspective surely did.  I realized: when we are experiencing trials, problems and challenges in our life, we tend to feel like the cold wind is blowing and we want to quit. But when the "sun shines" and we are given a break from the extra burdens for awhile, we feel as if we could go on forever.

Many years ago I was boarding an airplane on a rainy, dreary day.  As the plane took off and went higher in altitude we broke through the clouds and darkness and it was a glorious, bright sunny day.  I learned then that it is always a beautiful day somewhere, so I may as well enjoy it, where ever I am.
Problems come, trials exist, stuff happens! If we view these experience through the lens of a sunny day we can endure much, much longer.

I learned this on accident, because I ran in cold wind on purpose.

Inspiration and the amazing box of awesomeness

Inspiration--

1-Supply the inspiration for, fill with revolutionary ideas.

2-Product of creativity and work. A sudden intuition

What inspires you? A piece of artwork? A beautiful song? Nature? Another person? Have you ever thought, and realized, that YOU inspire others?

My daughter is dyslexic and works weekly with a tutor.  One of the tools they use is a spell checker; or, as my daughter calls it, "the amazing box of awesomeness." This device allows my daughter to input letters and insert a question mark when she isn't 100% sure of the spelling.  The device then gives my daughter the correct spelling of the word.  It's pure awesomeness for her.  My daughter told this to her tutor who LOVED it and now refers to the spell checker as "the amazing box of awesomeness" to encourage other kids who struggle with using the spell checker.

I am a runner.  I've been inspired by others which encouraged me to work hard.  I never thought that what I am doing would be a source of inspiration to other people.  During half marathon training, as I would post pics or experiences I had while running, people would tell me that I inspired them to start exercising.  Me?!

In whatever it is you do, people are watching and paying attention. When you do what you do with joy, enthusiasm and positivity, (like the amazing box of awesomeness) you will inspire someone else, and they will improve and inspire someone.  It's part of the fantastic circle of life. 

What does your amazing box of awesomeness look like?