Typing a Prayer

I always want a better relationship with my Heavenly Father. Sometimes, though, praying feels hard for me. I don't know why exactly. It just is. A couple of years ago I heard someone explain about how she types a prayer-or writes it with pen and paper; but she writes, and then listens. It would look something like this:
Me:
Them:

Who is "them?" Well, I believe in a loving Heavenly Father. If there is a father, there must be a mother. Together they had a son who is my older brother, Jesus Christ. And there is also the Holy Ghost. Now, I pray to Heavenly Father, but in the name of Jesus Christ (using His power on my behalf) I believe that my answers come from any of these mentioned individuals, or all of them collectively. I've done this exercise a few times. I like this because it feel more personal. By writing down my prayer, and what I feel my answer is I'm able to look back on what directions, council and comfort I was given.
Heavenly Father answers prayers, but first, the prayer must be offered. Answers do come.

I learned this on accident, because I typed a prayer on purpose.

The Eyes Have It

Masks. Love them or hate them, they are a new part of our society. I'm sure your'e familiar with the old adage, "the eyes are the window to the soul." Well, with mask wearing happening more often in public places, I hope you're keeping your "windows" open.
Masks cover roughly 2/3 of our faces. Sometimes our words are muffled and harder to hear and understand. We are now relying on our eyes to do much of our communicating. So smile under that mask! It truly makes a difference.

I learned this on accident because I wore a mask on purpose.

With Smile

Without smile

 Can you see the difference? Chins up, smiles on! (even under the mask)

A note to you, my friend

Well, this blog has definitely become what I didn't want it to become...a lost, forgotten piece of cyberspace.There have been many things that I have learned, especially during this time of world pandemic and I've been nudged, very gently, that I need to continue to write down and share the things that I learn.  For you? For a friend? For me? Probably mostly for me. But I cannot ignore it any longer. So, my intention now is to share with you several posts that I have been composing in my mind, and writing in journals, for quite some time.  They won't come in any particular order, not chronological, not by subject, but they will come.

And my hope is that you too will learn things on accident, as you read this blog on purpose.

~Gina

This is what cancer looks like

**Note**
This post was started MONTHS ago. I kind of forgot about it but after seeing it here on my "unfinished list" it felt like I needed to still publish it.  It isn't finished. I have yet to tell you about chemo, or the "after-party" But I didn't want this to stay here another day. I want to get out into cyberspace.

What do you think of when you see or hear the word "cancer?" Do you picture someone old or young? Do you picture a man or a woman? You might imagine someone sick for weeks with unexplained weight-loss or bruises or blotchy skin. Perhaps you yourself have experienced a lump in your breast or a tumor somewhere else on your body.

Isn't that the perfect shirt to wear to the day of your cancer surgery?

In Apr 2019 my husband turned 50. Upon having his annual doctors physical, the doc mentioned to my husband that it was now time for him to have a colonoscopy. Being the rule follower that he is, my husband was very compliant and on Oct 30, we took him to the hospital to have the procedure completed.
Following the procedure the attending doc came to the recovery room and, without any fanfare or tiptoeing, said, "You are the exact reason why we want people to have these screenings. We found a mass.  It looks like cancer."

Cancer? Did he say cancer? Yes, yes he did. We went home and waited for pathology tests to come back.

Nov. 1st-our 28th wedding anniversary. We went to SLC for little anniversary celebration for the weekend. That afternoon, at around 5:00 pm, we received a phone call from the doctor. The tumor tested positive. We heard the words "colon cancer" "surgery" "life expectancy." Not a tear free anniversary, I can tell you.

Nov 6th--Our first visit with the specialist. When he walked into the room, Andy and I had been talking and laughing. I think it took the surgeon off guard. He talked to us for a moment, asked, "So, how are you feeling." "Fine" Andy said. "I ran four miles this morning!" Dr. Kim proceeded to explain about the mass that was found. It wasn't confusing information but I think we were a little bit in shock. "So, what they found last week; it was cancer?" my husband asks. "Yes" replied Dr. Kim "Most definitely"

Nov 21--surgery day. According to Dr. Kim, this surgery went as well as it possibly could. Aprrox 4 inches of Andy's sigmoid colon were removed, the reattachment from A to B went flawlessly and Andy was out of the hospital just over 24 hours later. 24 lymph nodes were also removed.
Those were off to pathology for testing and we waited some more.

Post op. He was pretty loop for several hours. That was a lot of fun!

So handsome, even dressed in hospital cotton!

Nov 28th--On this Thanksgiving day, our family walked a 5k together. Andy was just one week post surgery, but he walked the entire distance with us. It was a great day. We had much to be thankful for!

Lessons from Boston Marathon

I am a runner.
That phrase doesn't roll easily off my tongue. It has taken a long time for me to verbalize that; especially out loud, let alone on a blog! Why is it difficult for me to own up to this? Well, I don't fit a lot of the "typical" things about a runner; I am not "fast", I am not "small", I am not a "natural athlete".
So, what are some things that make me a runner:
I am determined
I am consistent
I work hard
I can move my legs and feet at a pace faster than I can walk
I watch the Boston Marathon


On Monday, Apr 16 2018, I spent a couple of hours watching The Boston Marathon on my little tablet. It is always so inspiring to watch. This year did not disappoint. The weather conditions were AWFUL! They were horrible for ANY occasion, let alone for an outdoor endurance sport. These runners slogged through torrential rain and wind. And the super fast runners still finished 26.2 in less time than it takes me to clean my bathroom. (I really don't like to clean my bathroom)

After the winner of the womens and mens races were announced, the professional coverage with commentators ended, what was left was the view from the finish line cam. I watched the view from that camera for over 30 minutes.
I was receiving text alerts about my friend Tammy who was running so I was partially watching the finish line, hoping to recognize her. As I watched though, I started noticing something;
Each person that crossed the finish line had their own personal victory. Many raised their arms over their head as they crossed.  Some nearly collapsed and were placed onto a wheelchair. Some held hands with the person they were with and hugged and kissed. I think all of them were relieved that it was over, elated that they had finished, and marveled at the experience and conditions they had just gone through to get to the finish line. They had finished! And in my experience from running, when you finish, you win!

It caused me to think of all of us and our personal race towards heaven.
When we cross the final finish line, we will likely have many of these same feeling. Because we worked hard, overcome many obstacles and "storms" that we didn't expect or plan for, and we've done something amazing.

I'm a runner because it teaches me so many important lessons about life and working hard.

I love learning these things on accident, because I do other things on purpose!

You Never Know

Have you ever had a thought come into your head and thought to do something a little out your normal pattern? Maybe to turn left instead or go straight. Maybe you thought to call a friend and then found out they were having a bad day and your call was just what they needed. While at the store, maybe you decided to buy an extra can of soup, and then discovered that your neighbor was sick and needed a meal, so you took them the soup. Maybe, just maybe, you've had a thought to go check ton your kids and then discovered that they were playing in peanut butter. No? Just me? Anyway, these little thoughts are known by different names; inspiration, prompting, conscious, Holy Spirit. For  the intent of this post, we'll call it light.

That light can come to us at any time. Usually its spontaneous and unexpected. We then have to decide what we are going to do with the light...use it and shine it on someone or something else, or ignore it, probably because it didn't shine bright enough.

Recently I had a conversation with someone who was in need of help; but help that I couldn't offer. I was over 2,000 miles away and truly unable to help this person at their time of need. Later that same day, I had a conversation with someone else who lives much closer to the first someone. The second someone actually knows the first someone and told me that they had a thought to go visit the first someone--but didn't.

Neither of the someones knew about each others conversations with me. When I learned that the second someone did not go and visit the first someone, even though they had the thought (light) to do so, I felt a little bit sad. The second someone said that the idea came, but it didn't stick around so they didn't think the idea was that important. (the light was there, but it wasn't very bright)

In the end, the first someone ended up getting help, but from a different source.

What this experience taught me is that you never know. You never know if the thought you get to visit, or buy that soup or make a call just might be the answer to someone else's prayer or hopeful wishing.

You never know.

Back to Basics

I've been using running as my main form of exercise for over six years now. For most of those six years I've run the majority of my miles all alone. I learned to like it that way. My "listening habits" have varied. Sometimes I listen to 80's music, sometimes it's show tunes. Other times it's a podcast. Much of the time I am simply listening to my breath and my own thoughts. During those first months of running, I learned to like listening to Christian pop music. Not for the tempo or beat, but for the uplifting lyrics. There's something therapeutic to me about positive, uplifting words pouring into my head while I am doing something that is hard but is building my mental and physical self.

Recently, after a couple of tough wife and mom days, I needed to take a break from my "new normal" of running with a partner. I headed out all by myself, headphones in my ears and no real plan of how far I would run or when I would return. It was during this run that I felt a connection to where it all began for me. On this particular day I ran alone, which I haven't done for weeks, and I listened to gospel pop music, which I haven't done in years. I felt humbled and connected back to my Heavenly Father as I ran outside and listened to words in my ears about being a daughter of God, and how I want Him to see me as beautiful. One song in particular, "Glorious", touched me to my very core. I've been floundering, for what feels like months, trying to find my place. I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a friend, but I've just felt like something has been missing and that I wasn't "doing it right." This song is a beautiful reminder that I can figure out my part if I keep trying and "listening". "Everyone plays a piece, and there are melodies in each one of us. It's glorious!"

I was so happy to learn this again, as I ran alone and with uplifting music, on purpose.

This is a view from my run. Who couldn't feel connected and peaceful with this?